I have little time left. I hope my goodbye inspires you – Amy Ettinger/WaPost
“People are often afraid when they hear the word ‘hospice,’ but for me it’s been a positive experience. A nurse comes to my house to wrap my heavy, swollen feet. Social workers help get my paperwork in order. I can let go and focus on feeling as comfortable as I can.
“Most people in the United States enroll in hospice for just a short time, many after pushing the limits of their chemo regimen. About half of the people enrolled in hospice die within three weeks, and 35.7 percent of patients die within a week. Others, such as former president Jimmy Carter, survive in hospice for a year or more. That’s always a hope, but unfortunately for me, it doesn’t seem likely.
“My ability to get around is limited, but I look forward to daily meals with my family, and the hour a day we spend in the living room watching TV. Afterward, my daughter gives me moisturizing face masks and combs my hair. I have important conversations with my husband about life and death and the 25 years of memories we have built together.
“I’m not going to pretend I’m not afraid of what comes next. I’m saying goodbye to friends, and for most of them, it’s the first time they are losing someone in their age group. For friends who are far away, we are sharing our thoughts via long text messages and emails. A friend of 10 years writes me: ‘Goodbye my dearest friend. I wish I was better at articulating what I want to say. Thank you for always being there for me. Thank you for being you.’
“These conversations are essential even though they often feel awkward and a little unfinished. We are all learning, in our own ways, how to let go. I am choosing to focus my limited time and energy on doing the things I love with the people I care most about. It’s a formula that works, I think, no matter where you are in your life.”