Can’t make this stuff up! Big rumble in wealthy Washington, DC exurb. Win-win solution: Pres. Biden announces national emergency and works with Gov. Youngkin and his buds at the Carlyle Group to acquire the mental health resort for rich kids, farm for the disabled, and celebrity shooting range. Add a tent city for area homeless people to the mix and ask Disney and competitors for bids to develop a theme park on the property celebrating contemporary American culture.